The Hottest Rhetorical Device of Campaign '08Ask not what antimetabole can do for you—ask what you can do for antimetabole.
By Juliet Lapidos Posted Friday, Sept. 5, 2008, at 4:55 PM ET
Politicians eager to keep up with the latest fad need more than a flag pin this election season; the hottest accessory of the 2008 campaign is the reversible raincoat. That's the nickname speechwriters have given to the rhetorical device in which words are repeated in transposed order, as with Churchill's famous line: "Let us preach what we practice—let us practice what we preach." The fancy Greek name for the trick is antimetabole, and it's been cropping up in speeches by Democrats and Republicans alike.
At least it was on September 1. I've been waiting until I had photos before I put up this post.
Shu-ting and I arrived at 7:30 am on Monday morning for our first day of school. By the time we got there, there were children everywhere sweeping the sidewalks and wiping down desks in the classrooms. It felt kind of weird sitting around in a classroom watching kids clean but not chipping in, but it's part of the culture. The students help the teachers do everything--kids move all the textbooks into the classrooms, they even decorate the classrooms according to the teacher's instructions. When one of my fellow ETAs mentioned to a teacher that we worked really hard to make posters for the English Village, the teacher replied, "Why didn't you just get the kids to make them?" I've always heard that in Asian society, students really respect their teachers, but it's the little things that drive the point home.
The first graders had their orientation ceremony that morning, which of course entailed lots of balloons:
Disclaimer: The reason I'm prominently featured in the following photos is not just because I'm a total narcissist. I forgot my camera that day and had to get the photos from the Dean of Academic Affairs. He, of course, thought that I only wanted photos that included myself, and I didn't feel like explaining that I wanted all of the photos to pick and choose from since he's really busy.
If you look carefully, you'll see stalks of green onions sticking out of the balloon arches or "the Gates of Wisdom." The Chinese word for green onion is cong1 which sounds like the Chinese word for smart, cong1ming2. Now, you may be asking, "Who is what man in the middle with the big balloon hat?" That's definitely the principal. The people on either side of the photo wearing balloon hats are also head administrators at the school. Pretty cool, huh?
After the kids walked through the gate, the principal gave a long speech about working hard and gaining knowledge. I zoned out for most of it, but at one point he definitely said, "You must grow bigger and stronger so that animals won't eat you!" After he finished his speech, one of the teachers rolled something large covered in a red blanket. She gave an emphatic speech and then dramatically threw off the blanket to reveal....
THE COW OF KNOWLEDGE!!!!!
They then had each child stand up and take a pack of Oreo cookies which were taped to the cow's back. I haven't gotten the full scoop on the cow of knowledge, but a friend told me that you're supposed to put a hair from the cow under your pillow on September 28, which I believe is Confucius day. If anyone wants to provide a thorough explanation of this practice, I'd be glad to post it.
Stealing the secrets of Chinese knowledge. Apparently it has something to do with high fructose corn syrup
They also asked me to introduce myself in front of the student body. I gave a short introduction in English and asked my co-teacher to translate for me since my Chinese isn't great. I tried to keep it short: "Hi, my name is Vicky. I am here from America and I will be teaching English for 1 year with Teacher Shuting. I'm really excited to be here!" Shuting decided that I needed a more thorough introduction, so in addition to translating my words, she noted that I'm trying to learn the words to Jay Chou's Cowboy on the Run so I can sing it at karaoke. She also told the kids: "Just like you are trying to learn English, Teacher Vicky is trying to learn Taiwanese. Right now she only knows one Taiwanese word: Musasa (translation: messy), so you should try to practice with her if you can!"
Now when I walk down the hallway, I hear kids yelling musasa! at me. I think it's going to be a great year!
If any of you are actually regular readers, I apologize for the lack of updates over the past week. I'd like to believe it's because I haven't had much time between starting school, developing the English Village, and going to Taipei for the Fulbright Orientation, but in reality, I've been M.I.A because I've been addicted to a Taiwanese soap opera called Meteor Garden. It's about an ordinary girl who becomes the love interest of the leader of a wealthy, handsome gang called F4 who is, incidentally, the wealthiest and most handsome of the lot.
Before I started watching this soap opera, the Taiwanese attitude towards love more or less totally freaked me out. It was like being stuck in a Disney movie--people are obsessed with romance and dating here, it seems. A teacher once told me (totally unprompted) that Lotus Lake, a local Kaohsiung attraction--is a good place to hold hands and walk together. Another teacher seems obsessed with setting up the female ETAs with the various "handsome, single men" who work at her school. Dr. Wu, the Taiwanese Fulbright director, can't stop pointing out how many Fulbrighters stay because they meet someone they love, and emphasizing his excellent matchmaking skills. The main tourist attraction of Kaohsiung is called the Love River, where you can take a boat tour on a pontoon boat decorated in light-up-hearts. The River is decorated with Christmas lights, so that you can take walks and enjoy the scenery, especially when holding hands with your sweetie while wearing matching couple t-shirts and sneakers. I've seen lots and lots (and lots and lots) of matching couple outfits. To make a long story short, the whole thing used to make me borderline nauseous until I started watching Meteor Garden. No joke.
And, on the topic of love, I'd like to point out that the Fulbright Foundation put us in a love hotel for this weekend's conference in Taipei. What is a love hotel, you might ask? Well, in many Asian countries, young people live with their parents even after they've graduated from school and started their first jobs. I've even heard that people live with their parents after they've been married because real estate is so hard to come by and expensive. At any rate, young couples who live with their parents will go to love hotels (which are cheaper than normal hotels) when they need to *ahem* do their business.
I'd heard bizarre things about love hotels--apparently in Korea, some love hotels have sex toy vending machines--and so I've always been curious but too bashful to see one for myself. Little did I know that the Fulbright Foundation would provide this opportunity for me!
This is the condom that I found on my bed when I walked in, all wrapped up and ready for me to use!
This is the giant (and I mean GIANT) mirror at the end of my bed! If you look carefully, you can kind of make out the stage behind the bed!
I also tried to take photos of the giant bathroom with glass walls, but it didn't really turn out on my camera. The point is, I was pretty amused by the whole thing, and my room was pretty tame compared to other people's rooms. Katie definite had a jacuzzi with jets in her room. Another Fulbrighter had a heart-shaped bathtub. All-in-all, the Foundation for Scholarly Exchange (Fulbright Taiwan) deserves a two-thumbs up, five-heart rating from me for making my life that much more amusing.
And if you get bored, I suggest typing F4 into youtube. Apparently the soap opera stars were so popular that they were able to also become a popular singing group. The videos send me into a fit of laughter--I wish the same for you!
A few days ago, I mentioned that my roommates and I placed a little bet where the person who could correctly guess the most co-teacher matches would receive a McDonald's McFlurry from each of the three losing roommates. Well, Dan, Katie and I came through with our promise--and here's proof:
Being a 12 timezones away from the US means that I find out about everything way after you all do (unless it's Chen Shuibian's money-laundering--then I'm first in line!) Like McCain's Vice Presidential Pick--I found out after getting home at 1am (1pm your time)...then promptly passed out on my tatami mat while the rest of you were Googling your fingers off. Then again, at least I didn't find out like this.
You've all read the Sarah Palin commentary on the NYTimes, Slate, WSJ, or whatever it is you read regularly. But have you read VPilf.com? If you're drinking anything, be sure to swallow before clicking that link.
Sometimes the internet is just too good to be true.
