Farewell, Kaohsiung, Farewell!

So long, so long and thanks for all the fish!

I'm blogging from a free internet terminal at the Taoyuan International Airport, conveniently located next to the HELLO KITTY DEPARTURE GATE. For the next two weeks, I'll be in Kuala Lumpur for the Southeast Asian adventure of my dreams--beaching it in Malaysia and seeing Angkor Wat in Cambodia. Don't expect any updates until my return to Taiwan on July 14.

I'll be in DC from July 18-27, in Columbus from July 27-August 20ish. Then it's back to New England for graduate school!

Till then, if you're one of the 4 people who actually reads this, take care!

Tchoukball Fans... GET READY!

Taiwan  in 2009 is the place to be for sports fans who happen to follow athletic activities nobody else cares much about.  Last year, Beijing had the Olympics.  This year, Taipei will host the 2009 Deaflympics (something about that name seems like it should be offensive even though it's not) and Kaohsiung, my current home, will host the 2009 World Games.   

"What do you mean by 'athletic activities nobody else cares much about?'" you may be asking.  Please raise your hand if you've heard of the following sports:

-Competitive Tug-of-War

-Tchoukball

-Korfball

-Fin Swimming

-Canoe Polo

More ridiculous than the event itself is the city of Kaohsiung's attempts to build hype around a generally lackluster competition.   For starters, each elementary school must play host* to one competing country and we're supposed to teach our students about the guest country.  Maybe that's easy for my roommate Dan, whose school will host the USA.  My school will host Uzbekistan.  If I were to teach a lesson on Uzbekistan (which I won't because we barely have enough time to finish our curriculum) it would go something like this:

Me: Good morning class

Students: Good morning Teacher Vicky!

Me: Today we are going to learn about Uzbekistan.  Can you say UZ-BEK-I-STAN?

Students: UZ-BEK-I-STAN (repeat)!

Me: Very good!  Now, Uzbekistan is a very important country for illegal trade.  Does anyone know how to say illegal in Chinese?  (student answers) Very good!  Now, who knows how to say "guns and drugs" in Chinese?  (student answers).  Excellent! Uzbekistan is famous for selling illegal guns and drugs....

Then there is the theme song, as shown in the following music video.

I'm surprised I haven't memorized the words yet because it plays non-stop during commercial breaks, AND schools all around the city have to learn dances to the song.

Which brings me to my observation of the day: Some fellow ETAs and I were walking through the Cultural Center (the big park near my apartment) tonight when we saw a group of about 30 or 40 elementary school students performing a dance to the theme song. Most of them were dressed in normal clothes, but there were 3 randomly placed students wearing full animal costumes (dragon, unicorn, and lion).

And I thought I'd seen everything....

*I don't totally understand what "playing host" really means, but everyone I've asked makes it sound like they'll be using our schools as locker rooms.  This seems strange because the desks come up to MY knees and I'm only 5'2, yet most of the World Games athletes I've seen around here are comically tall.

Count Your Blessings

It's already Tuesday, but I've still got a "case of the Mondays." I guess it's kind of like a hangover without the liver damage. After my month -long winter break during which I promised myself to make the most of this final semester in Taiwan, I find myself sliding back into my old habits and attitudes; it seems that the good will and positive thinking built up over a month of seeing old friends, travel and meditation depletes itself pretty quickly.

I know that giving thanks is usually an activity reserved for Thanksgiving, but it seems like an appropriate time to take stock of the little things that bring me joy out here.

1. The Internet: thank you for bringing me Skype, GChat, the online graduate school application and The New Yorker.

2. My roommates: Good company goes a long way, and luckily for me, good company is never far away.

3. Emails from Paul: "so i spent valentines day [at my sister's college] with my mom; it was nice to know you are never too gay to be oedipal."

4. Employment: the only thing worse than being employed is being unemployed. Truth.

5. Coworkers who send me photos like this:

Give me your money!

Would you really travel farther than a few miles to see this? --Photo Courtesy of Shiela Lee

Nothing says, "I'm desperate for your tourism dollars" like a good, old-fashioned, trolley-shaped tour bus in a city that traditionally has no trolleys. The naked grab for your expendable income seems especially transparent when you (as in I) can't imagine where that bus would take its passengers. I love this city, but a river decorated in Christmas lights (aka the Love River) and the island's second-largest Hello Kitty Ferris Wheel (yes, this almost-superlative appears on almost every travel brochure) hardly count as tourist destinations.

Not to put down the good people who have worked hard to revitalize Kaohsiung, but I'm tired of the "If we build it they will come" attitude that pervades every attempt to prepare for the 2009 World Games. It's simply not true, and I wish someone with decision-making power would figure that out.

Cultural Center Madness!

Everyday is full of surprises. Look what appeared in the Kaohsiung Cultural Center (a park by my apartment) earlier this week:





10 brownie points to anyone who can explain why exactly these things are here.

Panda Eats, Shoots and Leaves

It was the best of days, it was the worst of days. I won't get too far into the bad stuff because apparently people can get in trouble for what they post on the internet, but it has all the elements of great literature: youthful strangers in a strange land, local politicking behind closed doors, racism, culture clash and tears--throw in an extramarital affair and we'd be all set.

And onto the good stuff: the 12 Kaohsiung Fulbright ETAs (that's English Teaching Assistants) will visit each of the 13 elementary schools where we could be placed by the end of Thursday. *aside: The process of placing us with an LET (Local English Teacher) also involves "speed dating" where the ETAs form an inner circle and the LETs form an outer circle and we rotate every minute until we meet all of our potential co-teachers. Why the foundation has decided to adopt such an awkward environment for social interaction is beyond my comprehension, but it's kind of funny so whatever.* We visited the first three schools today, and they made great efforts to woo us into making them our first choice school. A teacher at the first school argued that their school had the nicest facilities since it was only built 6 years ago AND tried to set me up with the national badminton champion gym teacher (you may think I'm joking... I wish you were right). At the second school, the principal boasted that his school was the oldest AND bought us bottled water and a laundry basket full of dragon eye fruit. The third school bought us iced coffee--a welcome treat on a searingly hot day.

And when we arrived at a fourth school (also a potential work site though not part of the day's official school tour) for a conference, the principal gave us buttons that he picked up in Beijing the previous week. Here's the one I chose:


Here's to a new tomorrow, hopefully one with more gunslinging pandas and fewer unpleasant encounters with messy, hidden politics. Cheers!